blastortoise:

dont talk shit about my shitty country only people who live here can do that

(Source: swimmer-chan, via sarcastic-snowflake)

enigmaticforeskin:

today in school a fight broke out and i heard one of our security guards ask if it was a good one

(Source: thymegaforeskin, via sniffing)

goldenclitoris:

*gets job as a stripper* *gets on stage in 3000 sweaters*
Get ready for some all night entertainment

(via stigs-mexican-cousin)

kismaayo:

job interviewer: so…tell me a little about yourself :)
me: sure. i’m a virgo, INTJ, i love tank tops oh my god did you see the Anaconda video? that changed my life!
interviewer: bitch me too! the fuck. you got the job

(via whorville)

thugmufffin:

mom dad why can’t you just accept me for the bad bitch i am

(via sarcastic-snowflake)

onikalodeon:

can we talk about Nicki Minaj’s twitter location image

(via sarcastic-snowflake)

(Source: gloomiestprincess, via lohanthony)

beyoncevevo:

"touch my butt and buy me pizza ;-)"